Shellie's Beautiful Mess

Ariel sat down to eat and nearly threw up, because it was seafood. It was like eating her own. She should have known she could never be human. But...but...but...she loved him so. Then she saw Sebastian, her friend. They had caught and tried to cook and eat her friend. What was she to do? She couldn't reveal that she had come from the sea. But she could not let them eat her friends. What was she to do? She did nothing but she felt so bad. What would her father think? She didn't think she cared, but suddenly she did. Oh, what to do? What to do?

Once a month or so, I've decided to just check in personally and let you know how things are going at the Spokane branch of the Paparazzo family. I started putting together a resume. Don't get too excited. I'm just making a resume.Then, we'll check out jobs I'd qualify for. I also got an application for a program at Spokane Falls Community College. I'll probably take a couple of classes. Anyway, we're very excited about Christmas around here. Chloe's going to be with us for Christmas this year and a friend of mine is coming over. And her dog. I'm especially excited about having her dog over for Christmas. Shhh, don't tell her. I love her for her dog. Not really, but she has a really cool dog. Anyway, I think she's cool. She's very sweet and she loves me, so that's all that has to happen to be cool in my world. I'm trying to get back on track with my workouts. I was slacking for a while. I went to the gym this morning. Anyway, it

Recovery is body, mind, and soul It means  I take care of me I get exercise I eat healthier I get to learn new things about myself and the world around me I get to be loved and love others I get to understand people who are struggling and help them, too, the way others helped me I can talk to people I don't agree with and not get defensive We can have different opinions, that is okay I have learned to get along with the people I live with I get to worship my God, however and wherever I please It doesn't have to look like your God And I don't have to follow all of your rules It's okay that you do I have my own that help me stay safe

I am a dancer I move gracefully to the music I dance everywhere Through the grocery aisles At the Plaza And even down the street I dance in the shower And I dance down the hall I dance in my bed all night long I never sleep I have so much energy I don't need to sleep I just dance I can't help myself I dance at the bus stop I even dance in the car

Purple is so beautiful Makes me feel feminine I think of royalty Like when I was a rodeo princess It makes me think about my kids They all love purple I miss my older daughter a lot lately She lives with her dad My son even likes purple My youngest likes it, too But her favorite color is red My pen is purple My binder is purple, too

I love to work on jewelry I like to scare people in the dark I love to ride horses especially if they have a smooth trot It is very soothing to watch the horses run in the pasture I like to visit with my sister She is very understanding Her encouragement is soothing I can't wait to watch my daughter's first track meet She is nervous, I'm sure she will do well It's normal to be nervous I hope she doesn't chicken out on the hurdles She doesn't seem to be worrying about the other two events I'm hoping to be able to watch her do all three events This is a poem I wrote in a class at Frontier Behavioral Health. We wrote them in class and turned them in as soon as we finished, so they're very rough. I hope to do something more with a few of them.

Chloe got an upgrade on her laptop which means I got her old laptop. It's taking some time to get used to it, so bear with me. It's been a busy few weeks here at the house, with Halloween and cars breaking down and schedule changes and you name it. If you can think of it, it's probably come up recently here. Anyway, I'll hopefully be getting somewhat creative again here soon.

Well, we've had transportation issues. The van I'm driving is still a mystery to every mechanic that looks at it, as to why it dies frequently. It's running again for the moment, but since we don't know what's wrong with it, it could still die at any time. I still tease my brother and sister in law that it's because it's a Ford. The truck died the same week. And it happened while we were trying to get stuff moved out of my storage unit into their smaller storage units and get rid of the rest of the stuff, like furniture and take over payments for their storage unit and saving us both about $85. Well, I had to rent a pickup to finish it, so I spent the extra on that, but next month I'll definitely feel the difference. Anyway, that's the update on this branch of the Paparazzo's, so I'll talk to you later.

They say expectations will kill me...but there are certain things I expect from others. And they're not about being entitled. Most of them cost the other person absolutely nothing. I expect people to be considerate of others. I expect to hear please and thank you. I also expect people in my immediate circle to actually genuinely care about me. I expect if a church or group has an event that involves physical, outdoor activities, that they will provide water for the participants. That's all. Just water. Not food or soda or anything extra like that. Just enough water to get through the event. Not just after the event is over. I recently went to an event where that was usually the case. Maybe they let me drink their water before and during the event before because I was one of their willing clones. My eyes have been opened recently several times about who they really are. They don't care about other people's need's, only their own....unless, of course, they're goin

Well, I'm sure you've noticed the new picture I have on my blog. That is my beautiful daughter, Chloe, receiving an award at a rodeo. Yep, she's a cowgirl. Of course, if you knew my past, you wouldn't expect anything less. I wish I'd raised both my daughters' to be cowgirls, but I raised them as city girls. Chloe met a horse trainer here in Spokane who took an interest in her, and I'm so glad she did. Chloe got a taste of what I did growing up. There are personal reasons we opted for her not to continue competing. She and I try to get out of town from time to time to go on a trail ride, but it's difficult with an old, falling apart van, that could die at any time. Eventually, I'll be able to buy a newer car. I'd like a Subaru. It's more practical in and out of town, since it will be a long time before I'll be able to afford more than one vehicle. It's not like I own a horse, so I don't need a pickup. We ride other people's hor

My youngest is now a freshman in high school. It still feels surreal. Her first day was yesterday and I did not send her to jus any high school. She's in a project based high school called The Community School. They are part of the New Tech Network. Students that graduate there are generally better prepared for life after high school. They don't do a lot of busy work. They do projects that require them to learn what the state requires and then some. It's ran a lot like a private school, but it's what they call a public 'choice' school. Her older brother and sister went there as well. Angela now lives with her dad and goes to Lewiston High School. Her brother graduated from TCS with honors, having been accepted into his dream college. Unfortunately, he was not able to get together enough funds to actually attend, but he has a job and is behaving like a responsible adult. I'm sure he will be successful in his pursuits. He still wants to be a film maker and I&#

Now, to introduce you to my favorite member of this household. I know the other members of this household don't mind her being my favorite. My daughter, Chloe Marie Paparazzo. She'll be 15 years old on August 29th. She will be a Freshman at The Community School here in Spokane. She's one of the most talented people I know. And probably the wisest young person I've ever met. And, I raised her. Shocking, I know. She plays the violin. She and I are hoping to soon play something together. I play the flute. She likes to ride horses as well. She competed in barell racing and pole bending a couple of times. Not too mention dummy roping. That is something she also has in common with me. We both love horses and rodeo. Actually, I'd lost sight of that passion in me until she got interested. She is an honor roll student and is also very active in church. She helps me in the nursery with the itty bitty babies. They're adorable. She's very independent and always keeps mo

I know it's been a while since I posted on here. I've actually been taking a writing class and so I've been focused on those assignments instead of blogging. Don't expect a huge improvement in my writing as a result. It was mostly a writing class for myself to just be inspired by new ideas. I took it at the place I go to for therapy, so it was mostly for that purpose. I might share with you some of the stories I wrote for that, later. But, for now, I'm going to continue to introduce you to my family. Next, is Roger Paparazzo. I refer to him as my brother. Technically, he's my ex-husband's brother. And he, of course, is married to Lis (Elizabeth Paparazzo), who I told you about in my last post. He  works as a CNA. He does in-home care. From what I can tell, he's very good at his job. He's the man of the house (obviously), and he definitely brings home the bacon. He's a very good man. Honorable in his dealings. Very faithful to his handicapped wi

I promised I would introduce my whole family, but after the cats I found it very difficult to find any inspiration, especially after all the rude comments from people who need to insult others to build themselves up. Sad. Anyway, I'm going to do my best to introduce you to Elizabeth Paparazzo or Lis as she likes to be called. She's my sister....sort of and Chloe's Aunt. You'll learn more about Chloe later. Anyway, Lis is married to Chloe's dad's brother if that kind of helps you get the picture. Some people think it would be awkward living with their ex-husband's family, but it really isn't. It's no different than just having roommates that you knew from earlier in your life. It hasn't changed how they view me. Lis is one of the most amazing people I know. I used to not think much of her, because of her weight, weird allergies that don't make sense to me, and other health issues that I was sure she brought on herself. It turns out most of the

Small pause in the interviewing everyone in the family. Today's my birthday for whatever that's worth. Somehow after 40 they seriously lose their charm. I wouldn't even celebrate it if I didn't like presents and dessert so much. I mean seriously, what do we do on our birthdays? Do you realize what we celebrate? I mean, think about it. You celebrate the day you put your mother through excruciating pain and you came out bloody and naked and more than likely screaming. I mean, yeah. I know. I get it. We've lived another year, which, I don't know about you, but given what I've done to that naked, bloody body I should have been dead a long time ago. But I'm not. Forty two years old today. Yeah. I just admitted it. But whatever. I don't feel 42 years old. Of course, we say that, and what do we know about it. I've never been this age before. All I know is when my dad turned 40 it was like he was practically dead. Now, I'm over 40 and consider myself

I am Mercy Paparazzo. I am about 5 months old. For the first few months of my life I lived outside. It was fine at first, cause it was warm all the time. But it started getting colder at night. I was out there with my brothers and sisters and mom and dad. Mom could only get so much food for us. Someone in the house nearby fed us and we found an opening that allowed us into the basement, so we could stay warm. But I was not to trust the humans. One day they caught me. They kept me in a cage all night. Someone came to pick me up the next morning. I was scared. But she took me to a house where I got to stay. Not in the basement. I had the run of the house. At first they kept me in the cage most of the time and put me in a sand box every now and then. I got to be out more when I figured out they wanted me to go potty in there. Soon I learned that my parents were wrong about these humans. They loved me. They let me sleep in their beds and snuggle up to them.  They feed me every day and I ca

I'm sure you're wondering who Jewel Paparazzo is. She's a cat. She's about 10 years old. We have another cat named Mercy. She's just about 4 or 5 months old. She was a stray so we're not exactly sure. To introduce  you to the rest of the family, of course, we have me, Shellie. We also have my 14 year old daughter, Chloe. And then there's Aunt Lis (Elizabeth Paparazzo) and Uncle Roger Paparazzo. Yes, we have a very non-traditional family. It works. I also have 2 other kids. Angela is 16 and Jeremiah is 18. They both live with their dad, aka, my ex-husband.  I'm going to do a blog for each of them. Well, the one's that live here in our crazy, happy non-traditional family. Why am I starting with Jewel, you ask? Well, she's the oldest cat in the house, therefore she's the Queen. All cat owners will understand. I'm Jewel. I am in charge of this household. They seem to think they own me, but they are sadly mistaken. I own them. I was Chloe

My grandfather passed away in 2009, if I remember correctly. My grandmother had passed the year before or so. Anyway, when I think of my grandparents I think about what their house seemed like when I was little. They lived in this huge house on top of a hill just outside of Tekoa, Washington. It seemed like a castle to me, towering over the much smaller houses beneath it. And the King and Queen lived inside. Those were my grandparents. As you entered the house usually the Queen (my grandmother) was in the kitchen preparing something. And then you went into the living room and the King (my grandfather) was on his throne with his feet up either watching tv or checking the back of his eyelids for holes. He wasn't sleeping. Not at all. And some people thought that throne was just an ordinary recliner. Nope! It was a throne. But make no mistake, we all knew that when it came down to it, it wasn't the King that was in charge. You wanted anything you went to the kitchen and asked the

I recently saw a movie that inspired me. It's called "Mom's Night Out." And, yeah, the main character of the movie started a blog at the end. Total coincidence. Or maybe it isn't. Who cares! The movie naturally reminded me of when my kids were little. I mean, I never had a pair of heels like the ones she found in her closet when she was "hiding."  In fact, I was a bit of a tomboy. Me and my family joked about heels being against my religion. But something strange happened to me when my kids were in elementary school. After I came out of the fog of not sleeping for like 8 years! I felt the need to feel beautiful. Some of you will know what I mean when I explain this. Some of you won't. Many of you that know me are probably thinking, "But you are beautiful." I know that now ! Before I had children I knew it, too. I wouldn't have admitted it, for fear of being seen as arrogant. Now, I just don't care, so go ahead and think I'm arro